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Welcome to The Late Flag! And thank you for reading our regular (well, nearly) postings on this site. We're here to talk about football, since that's what we do all day anyway. If you enjoy this site, or hell, even if you don't, please recommend it to your friends and football-loving acquaintances. The "comments" link at the end of every posting lets you add your views, so please - argue with us, agree with us, add to our points, and we'll discuss your opinion in future posts. Right, that's the intro covered, so here's the footy for today...

Thursday, September 06, 2007

You Don't Know What You're Doing


Earlier this week, Sir Trevor Brooking – the new head of the FA’s Youth Development Programme – spoke to the BBC about his concerns for the future of English football. According to cockney Trev, the influx of foreigners into the Premier League is preventing English kids from breaking through into first teams, and creating an ever-smaller pool of players for Steve McClaren to choose from. He points out that in 1992, at the start of the Premier League, the percentage of English players in our top-flight was around 60%. Now it’s around 30%, and dropping. Brooking is in a position where he can assess very clearly the state of youth development at the moment, and he’s backed up his argument with figures to demonstrate his point. Looking at it that way, it’s easy to suggest he makes a fair argument. Easy, but wrong. I’m about to show you that Brooking is talking b*****ks, in the hope that as many of you as possible will cease to listen to a single word that comes out of this tw*t’s mouth.

There are so many flaws with Brooking’s argument that I hardly know where to start. But first of all we’ll not actually argue with anything he’s said. Lets just assume for a minute – wrongly – that everything Brooking has said makes sense, and is correct. Lets pretend we’ve got too many foreigners, and this means lots of young English kids can’t get a game. That scenario would in no way stop ALL young English kids getting a game, just most of them. In other words, only the very best young English players WILL get a game, and they’ll be playing – on a Saturday as well as every day in training – against the very same players they’d have to face at International level. It is surely of benefit to someone like Michael Johnson at Man City, for example, to train alongside Dietmar Hamann or Elano, and I’d much rather he was playing against Tomas Rosicky than against Michael Thomas.

Back in the day, on a Saturday afternoon the likes of Johnson learned nothing about the way foreign players played their football, but they knew all about how third-rate Englishmen played. That’s great when you’re playing away to Torquay in the FA Cup, but leaves you a bit short going away to Italy. So argument one with Brooking’s theory is actually twofold – even if there ARE “too many” foreigners over here, the cream of English players will always rise to the top (Gerrard, Carragher, Cole, Terry, Richards, Agbonlahor, Derbyshire…) and when they do, they will undoubtedly learn from these foreign players, leaving them better acquainted with the variety of footballing styles that exist in the world.

Argument two is where I start to take issue with his figures. Brooking argues that back in 1992, 60% of Premier League players were English, and this is obviously a figure that is of benefit to the national team. 1992? Wait there a second, Trev – what happened in 1992 again? Wasn’t that the European Championships where we didn’t qualify from our group, and only scored one goal? Yes. Yes it was. And what happened in 93-94 Trev? Didn’t we totally fail to qualify for USA 94? Now maybe, just maybe, that had something to do with the likes of Tony Dorigo, Carlton Palmer and Tony Daley getting a f**king game for England just because they got regular games for some of the top sides in the country.

We were absolutely s**t in the early 90’s, and this is the era that Brooking wants us to model ourselves upon. How handy for him then, that in McClaren, we have the worst English manager since Graham Taylor. We’re halfway to 92 standard already. Now all we need to do is get rid of the likes of Berbatov, Torres and Ronaldo so that Neil Mellor and Chris Eagles get their chance to play for England. Jesus Christ.

My third argument is based on quality. Much has been made of the fact that English players cost far too much money compared to their foreign counterparts, with £6m Kenwyne Jones costing nearly twice as much as Benni McCarthy. This, it is argued, leads English managers to shop abroad. I agree with that to an extent, but it’s nowhere near the whole story. By and large, when a Premiership manager buys a foreign player, it’s because he’s the best man for the job, plain and simple. Look at Manchester United. This is a club where the odd 4-5 million pounds is neither here nor there, whether they pay £8m or £12m for a player is, in the long run, all the same to them. So when they picked up Cristiano Ronaldo for £9m or so, it wasn’t because Stewart Downing would have cost a bank-breaking £12m from nasty greedy Middlesbrough. It was actually because Ronaldo is the dog’s b*****ks, and Downing is fairly ordinary by world standards.

So the foreign players coming into the game are doing so because they’re some of the best available, not purely because of cost. Taking the Ronaldo example, every English full back in the country – Luke Young, Nicky Shorey, Liam Rosenior, Stephen Warnock, every lad we’d only really rely on in an injury crisis – has played against probably the best winger in the world, on a regular basis. In argument one I commented that playing against foreign players helps young English lads learn about different styles – here my point is those players also tend to be class. When I mentioned before I’d rather see Michael Johnson playing against Rosicky than Michael Thomas, I meant he’d be learning about the way a foreign player likes to play the game in a different way, but it’s all the more true that he’d be playing against a class act. This would help him develop even more than learning about different styles. Some foreign players bring a different flavour to the Premier League, others bring a different class. And both are vital in preparing our young players for the rigours of International football.
Y
The vast majority of foreigners in the Premier League genuinely improve the quality. Take Portsmouth – John Utaka (who no-one had heard of) looks a far better buy than David “England Cap” Nugent. If Dorigo, Daley and Palmer were playing now they’d be nowhere near the England squad, or their club’s first teams. They’d be shown up as the s**t they were every Saturday afternoon, and not just when they put an England shirt on. We were genuinely surprised in the 90's, to find out these players couldn't cut it - but the likes of Ronaldo are now providing us with a weekly yardstick to measure our kids against.

In England today, we have the biggest crop of genuinely top-class players we’ve had for generations. Gerrard, Rooney, Terry, Ashley Cole, Joe Cole, Little Mickey Owen, hell – even the likes of Crouch and Wright-Phillips when you think about it – these lads would get into most teams around the world. (Think what AC Milan could do with a target man like Crouchy, or the pace and width of a Cole or SWP. Being Italian, they’d also appreciate Terry, Lescott, and Taylor too.) We also have a superb crop of promising youngsters – Walcott, Agbonlahor, Young, Davies, Carson, Derbyshire, Bentley – and yet we’re undoubtedly underachieving. That’s pretty worrying.

But what’s more worrying is that the head of youth development, at the organisation that runs our national team, actually thinks that our underachievement is down to a lack of quality in our players, rather than looking at the make-up of the team, their style of play, or tactical know-how. In other words, he’s not looking at the Manager. Instead, he’s propagating the exact same “We don’t need Johnny Foreigner” attitude that lead to us appointing a sub-standard manager in the first place, simply because he was English. In other words, the FA still haven’t learned their lesson.
Y
Oh – and thrown in to boot, the head of youth development says the kids aren’t good enough and it’s the clubs' fault – not his. Trevor, YOU’RE the one who should be making sure they ARE good enough, not blaming others when they’re not performing. How the f**k has this xenophobic arse-hole got his job when he’s clearly so clueless? The only answer I can give is that those above him at the FA must be even more so.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Premier League Winners and Losers


Winners


Liverpool
It might only have been Derby, and a very poor Derby at that. But the way the Reds completely demolished their opponents left no-one in any doubt that they’re a much improved side this year, and they’ll take some stopping. After dominating – but failing to finish off – Chelsea two weeks ago, Liverpool are showing a new-found ruthless streak in front of goal that has been the only thing missing from their game for two years. If they keep this up, the current 2-week stretch in which they’re top of the league won’t be an isolated one.

Arsenal
Also showing a new-found cutting edge this season. Goals from midfield (Gilberto aside) were woefully lacking last season, but without Henry the Gunners’ undoubtedly talented midfield players have stepped up to the plate. They absolutely destroyed Portsmouth with the sort of free-flowing moves we’re used to from Wenger’s teams, but shocked the nation by actually finishing them off. Three times. On this form, they’re making those that wrote them off look very, very stupid.

Aston Villa
Showing signs of turning into a decent side, all things considered. Personally, I haven’t forgiven them for their part in that St James’ bore-fest a couple of weeks ago, but they’ve got a solid backline, and the raw pace of Young, Moore, Agbonlahor etc will cause many teams problems. Even more so when they can finish, like Sunday. Too many off days from those boys though – like the one at St James’ – could cost them a European place, as you struggle to find what looks like a consistent goalscorer in the Villa ranks.

Blackburn Rovers
Proving me wrong. Totally wrong. I thought that not spending money would automatically mean a move backwards for Rovers, bearing in mind the money spent by Newcastle, Man City and others. But by adding Santa Cruz and keeping the rest of his side together, Mark Hughes has put together a quality side, with depth and character. Not many teams will get a point at Ewood this season, although a few might pick up some bruises…

Mickey Owen & Steve McClaren
Beating Wigan 1-0 at home barely counts as a success for Newcastle. I mean, it is a success, but one that was entirely expected, and perhaps by more goals. So whilst Newcastle will be satisfied, they won’t be delighted. Two men who will be are part-time striker Michael Owen, and part-brained England manager Steve McClaren. Owen proved that every once in a while he can perform the feat of playing 90 minutes, scoring a goal, and not getting stretchered off. Which was probably beyond the wildest dreams of either him or McClaren.

Louis Saha
As above, but with Alex Ferguson as the delighted manager.

Everton
Somewhat scraped their result, but Yakubu scoring on his debut is good news. It seems him & Johnson could provide a decent partnership up front, and that’s something Everton have been lacking. The industry and indeed creativity of their midfield has never been in doubt, and under Moyes they’ve always been solid at the back. If those two can provide the goals their potential suggests, then watch out Tottenham – your 5th place is under threat.

Anderson & Nani
Cristiano Ronaldo paying for a few £3000-a-time hookers sounds like a nice welcome present to me. If you’re into that kind of thing.
(Which they clearly are)


Losers

Martin Jol
When you take off the best player on the pitch and lose a 3 goal lead, you know you’re going to get some comeback on that decision. When you’re already the Premier League’s most under-pressure manager it’s only going to make things worse. And the timing and nature of Fulham’s equaliser must have him feeling like the whole world is against him. A draw was harsh on Spurs, but they’ve only themselves to blame after missing a bunch of chances that would embarrass Arsenal.

Bolton
Just when they thought they’d got things going again, they go and f**k it all up. They really will be in trouble if they’re not careful, not even Nicolas Anelka’s stunner could get them something at home to Everton, a game they must have fancied their chances in.

Reading
What’s going on? They’re getting battered all over the place at the moment, and the way they started the season promised so much too. Perhaps it’s easy to get these lads motivated for games against Chelsea and Man U, but when West Ham (who they beat 6-0 last season) come calling, no-one can be arsed. Will need to fix things soon.

Derby
Going…going…and Paddy Power have paid out already on them going down this season. 2 or 3 more defeats similar to ones against Spurs and Liverpool lately will see that decision entirely justified. On Saturday, they were awful. Witness Torres’ 1st goal – and Liverpool’s 3rd – where Mascherano charged 20 yards to dispossess an aimlessly ambling Derby midfielder, allowing Torres to bamboozle two defenders and the keeper before finishing with a side-footer you try in training. And when you watch Babel’s goal – great as it was – it just gets worse from a Derby perspective. Not good enough in any department, frankly.

Chelsea
After going a goal down, they appeared shapeless, and completely devoid of ideas. Somehow ended up with Malouda in central midfield and Joe Cole on the right – Mourinho’s tinkering appeared desperate rather than decisive, especially when first Alex and then John Terry lumbered up front to provide a target man. As if Drogba and Pizzaro weren’t enough. I would normally be tempted to write this one off as one of those days, but the performances against Brimingham, Reading, Liverpool and Portsmouth have all been pretty much as bad. Chelsea are seriously lacking in form, and perhaps confidence. Comparisons of Liverpool’s, and then Chelsea’s performances at Villa Park show a huge gulf in form.

Cristiano Ronaldo
In the words of one of those now-infamous hookers…

“When I walked in the room I recognised Ronaldo straight away – I’ve fancied him since the World Cup, and I was thinking ‘get in! I’ll do this for free!’”

Of course, before she had the chance to make that offer, he splashed out £3000 for her services. Lesson here lads – offer your hookers a drink first, get to know them a bit, don’t just dive straight in with the cash like a flash Portuguese tw*t. You never know what you might get for free.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Rafa's Rant


"Jose said he wouldn't be talking about Liverpool this season - maybe his memory is not so good".

This is the kind of comment we're used to hearing from Rafa Benitez, and it's as close as he normally comes to controversy. Barbed, but understated - he gets his point across without coming off as a rabid madman infuriated by (usually) Mourinho's comments. It has appeared, for four years, that Benitez is a quiet, laid-back student of the game, a hard man to rile. It's hard to imagine him throwing tea cups around a dressing room, or giving any player the Alex Ferguson hairdryer treatment. This, lets not forget, is the man who sat cross-legged, Buddha like, whilst watching penalties in the Champions League semi-final against his greatest managerial rival. Cucumbers envy his cool.

This week however, Rafa has well and truly "chucked a mental". Totally and utterly lost it. Maybe it's his new beard, and he's totally f**ked off with being called "Max" every day in training. Maybe Mrs Benitez isn't putting out this season, because of his newly spiky face. Maybe his fantasy football team is as s**t as mine, cos Dean Ashton can't get a f**king game. Whatever the reasons, Rafa has clearly had some steam building, and the Heinze ruling this week has been the catalyst for one almighty venting.

In what will surely come as a shock to all of you reading, I have to say I agree with pretty much everything he said, although I'm certainly surprised at the extent to which it's upset him. I'll deal with his points one by one, because as funny as it was hearing him go off on one, he raised some pretty valid questions.

Firstly, the Heinze ruling itself. I'm certain there's only a fraction of the information on this one that has made it into the public domain, nobody knows what the f**k has been going on there. I don't believe for one minute that Liverpool FC and it's numerous lawyers took the matter this far purely on the basis of a bit of paper nowhere near as legally binding as Heinze's actual contract. This has indeed been a murky matter, hence the need for an arbitration panel rather than a statement of "don't be so bloody stupid, he's Man United's player". European contract law comes into things, as do certain quotes (which haven't been made public) attributed to Man Utd's Chief Exec, in conversation with Heinze's agent. What we do know though (and even Alex Ferguson pointed this much out) is that Liverpool thought they had a watertight case, or the whole thing wouldn't have happened. Benitez is clearly frustrated with what he feels is an unjust decision.

What REALLY p**sed Benitez off though, was the implications coming out of Old Trafford that Liverpool were involved in tapping up Heinze. From a club that is well known for sending out replica shirts to transfer targets with their name on the back, (Paul Ince, Mexes, Hargreaves) accusations of transfer irregularities seem rich. These accusations were apparently levelled again at the tribunal, presumably with the aim of bringing Liverpool to book for the supposed infringements. Reading back over the quotes Benitez made about the affair prior to the tribunal, it's hard to back these claims up.

If that was all Benitez had got angry about, not many would have been surprised. However, he's clearly decided the men in charge of English football are a complete bunch of f**kwits, and decided to let loose on a range of issues. Between now and the end of the season, Liverpool are already scheduled to play FOUR early Saturday kickoffs following International fixtures. By anyone's reckoning that seems excessive, and Benitez has rightly pointed out that Liverpool were the Premiership side most involved in early morning kickoffs last season, following both International and European fixtures. When your key players (or whole squad) have just travelled half the length of Europe, the last thing you want is to have to play at noon on a saturday, especially when all your rivals have convenient 4pm Sunday kickoffs. Now I'm not suggesting there's a hidden fixture agenda at the Premier League, and neither is Benitez. All he's saying (and rightly) is that someone should have probably noticed and amended this discrepancy. For it to happen over a whole season is an oversight. For it to happen over two is downright incompetent.

Next he turned his attention to the Rob Styles debate, still raging from Sunday. In the bearded one's opinion, (that's Rafa, not me) it's not referees who should carry most of the blame in situations like the one at Anfield. That's an area where I disagreed, until I heard what came next. I still think Styles is a useless c**t, who should never referee in this country again, but Rafa rightly pointed out some mitigating circumstances. Firstly, Florent Malouda wants hauling by the balls over the embers of a Newquay hotel, so blatant and disgusting was his dive that conned the ref. He didn't just fall over, he fell INTO a player in order that there'd be contact. He really tried to back up his theatrics, and is clearly a pro in the art of being a cheating t**t.

Secondly, Styles perhaps felt he owed Chelsea, so incredulously did they surround him every time he gave a decision Liverpool's way. The (clearly organised) protests of the Chelsea players must have had Styles thinking he'd dropped more than one clanger in Liverpool's favour. Watching on TV, from time to time even I thought Chelsea had been hard done by on occasion, so vehement were the denials. Except we had the benefit of replays, where we could see they were just being a bunch of cheating cockney b******s. Benitez' point, basically, is that referees are human. If you've got eleven guys deliberately trying to con them, by going to ground whenever possible and by debating every possible decision in order to undermine their self-belief, then they ARE going to make mistakes. He even suggested that certain clubs (Chelsea) target certain referees (Styles) as they know they're more prone to folding under the pressure. This is clearly a disgraceful and disgusting state of affairs, especially from the most expensively assembled group of players in English football history, who shouldn't have to resort to such tactics.

I always loved the understated, studious Rafa. And I must be honest, when I first heard his rant I was slightly amused, but also slightly alarmed, thinking back to the cracking-up Kevin Keegan's "I'd love it" monologue. It wasn't until I'd read his quotes through a couple of times and gone away and thought about it that I realised two things - A) pretty much everything he said was true, and B) it's about time somebody in the game said it. And you can say what you like, but a mild-mannered slightly shy performance in a press conference doesn't get your comments noticed half as much as a balls-out mentalist rant.

I still think he's sick of being likened to Peter Kay, and if he's got Ashton in his fantasy team that'll be p**sing him off just as much as it is me, but I also think he was 100% justified in not only saying what he did, but in how he said it. More of the same please Rafa, it's time we told the whingers, the divers, the tappers-up and the authorities exactly what we think of their antics. They've all got away with it for too long.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Why bother?


I’ve never understood the point of International friendlies, except for those in the run-up to a major tournament. So maybe I’m not coming at this from the most objective angle possible (in fact, my hatred of International football means I’m certainly not), but that doesn’t disguise the fact that England’s forthcoming friendly with Germany is the biggest waste of time since the last time Italy went 1-0 up.

I can just about understand the need for friendlies where the International manager is an open-minded, meritocratic sort – a man who likes to mix things up and who guarantees no-one his place. I think we’re all in agreement, however, that Steve McClaren is not this man. If Theo Walcott, Joey Barton or even Pele himself was part of this squad, got 90 minutes under his belt and bagged a hat-trick, you can guarantee that come Euro 2008 (should England qualify) he wouldn’t be part of the starting XI.

Barring injuries, we all know McClaren’s favoured eleven reads Robinson, Neville, Cole, Terry, Ferdinand, Beckham/Lennon, Gerrard, Lampard, Cole, Rooney, Owen. So for a start, lets get away from this idea that friendlies are a chance for the manager to try things out, to experiment. Any experimenting McClaren does in a friendly is instantly forgotten when he has a full-strength squad to choose from, much as it was under Sven, with the same depressingly dour performances the result.

The only other justification I can see then, is to give our first choice side more minutes together, to get them all reading from the same page, so to speak. Once again this argument is paper-thin in this case. Rooney, Gerrard, Hargreaves, Johnson, Bent…this list of players unavailable is growing all the time. When you factor in the likes of Woodgate and Gary Neville as long-term absentees, you can’t tell me this is going to be anywhere near a first choice team, or even that the team to face Germany will ever play with each other again.

So we’ve got a largely reserve squad playing on Wednesday, and even those that impress won’t force themselves into the first-team picture when everyone is back fit. So what the f**k is the point? Some would argue getting the squad together and giving them a match against quality opposition is perfect preparation for the upcoming games against Israel and Russia, but try telling that to Rooney or Gerrard, both of whom have been injured recently. Neither injury took place in training, playing another game this close to vital qualifiers could be costly, should the likes of Terry break down again we'd be f**ked.

We’ve just got a Premier League season in full swing, we have controversy, goals, shocks, managerial shenanigans…and before we even get the chance to settle in and enjoy it, we’ve got that grinning ginger t**t plastered all over our TV again, tainting the game we love with his negative, unbalanced "game plans".

For those of you that are looking forward to “locking horns with the Old Enemy” and “England back at Wembley”, genuinely, best of luck to you – I hope you enjoy the game and get the result and performance you’re hoping for. Just don’t expect a match report on this page, I will not be watching.

F**k England reserves, f**k McClaren, and f**k friendlies too.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Premiership Winners & Losers


Winners

Manchester City
Top of the league, and a win over United. Does it get much better? As predicted by The Late Flag, Eriksson's side aren't the most free-flowing or highly scoring side in the league, but when you've not conceded a goal all season, you're certainly not doing too badly as long as you know where the goal is. A home game against Derby and a deflected effort against their local rivals has meant that despite their lack of real cutting edge, City have used this week to make it 9 out of 9 so far.

Chris Hutchings
"I've got a tenner here somewhere" was his response when told he was favourite to be the first Premiership manager to lose his job. Middlesbrough's general s**t-ness and Sunderland's defensive ineptitude has surely cost him that tenner now, 6 points from the first 9 should make him unsackable for a few weeks yet. Impressive industry from Wigan though, as Sibierski and Heskey have the look of an unexpectedly successful partnership. Whilst many could use the quality of their opposition as a mitigating factor in their success, it should be remembered that 14th would be seen as a good year for Wigan, and they're beating their relegation rivals. On this form they could finish top of that bottom third.

Tottenham
Typical. I go slagging off Spurs, their midfield, and Jermaine Jenas, and they win 4-0 with 3 goals coming from midfielders...one from the waste of space himself. I should have seen this coming, but they've rammed my criticism back down my throat, at least for a week. I wouldn't be fooled though, they're still short of midfield quality.

Portsmouth
An assured performance against a Bolton side as desperate for a result as Spurs were. This weekend could well have been a bad time to play Sammy Lee's side, with a backlash in the offing. But despite going a goal down, they fought back to win comfortably, and in Utaka, seem to have a real find. He certainly scored goal of the week, and looked tricky throughout.

Reading
4 points from a run of Manchester United, Chelsea and Everton has to be seen as a good haul. They worked hard for their win, and despite riding their luck at times, were probably good value for it. On the evidence they've shown so far, they'll be absolutely fine this season.

Alan Curbishley
Eased the pressure with a just-about-deserved 1-0 victory. I'm still not convinced it was a penalty, but on the balance of play they probably did enough to deserve 3 points. Clearly his rebuilt side needs more time to bed together, and a few more decisions like that one will help them no end.

Chelsea
Got absolutely nothing out of the Liverpool defence, but came away from Anfield with a priceless point thanks to the most inept refereeing decision of the weekend. Bearing in mind Fulham's disallowed goal, that's saying something. Must be loving Man Utd's slow start.

Middlesbrough
Nearly as lucky as Chelsea. In fact, when you factor in Mido's goal, probably the luckiest side this weekend, having been largely outplayed by Fulham. A much-needed win though, that could kickstart their season.

Dirk Kuyt & Fernando Torres
Showing signs of becoming the best strike partnership in the country. Their industry, movement and link-up play were once again a joy to behold, and despite the hard work of their defensive colleagues, could justifiably claim to be the Liverpool players most unlucky not to be on the winning side. Despite Benitez' many options, these two will be hard to drop on this performance.


Losers

Manchester United
Dear oh dear, not a striker in sight. It just keeps getting worse for the Champions, one goal in three games is a very poor show, and losing to their resurgent City rivals must have hurt like hell. Especially since they hardly had a shot. When Richard Dunne keeps your £30m-rated striker in his back pocket, you know you've got problems.

Derby County
Absolutely battered by Spurs. Will have to learn very, very quickly that giving Premier League midfielders 30 yards of space will cost you dear. Perhaps they were worried by the pace of Bent & Keane in behind them, but whatever the reason, dropping that deep and refusing to put pressure on the ball in their own half played into Spurs' hands. They don't need creative midfielders when you give them that much space - David Batty and Carlton Palmer could have carved Derby open on Saturday.

Bolton
Still no points, and still no sign of getting any. Anelka looks their only threat, and he could be off before September. Unless they re-invest that money VERY wisely, a long hard winter could be on the cards. Strangely for Bolton, they look wide open at the back, too.

Fulham
Your newest signing dislocates his shoulder, your goalscorer dislocates his knee, your keeper does a Taibi, and Healy has that goal disallowed. It's just not your week lads, no matter how well you played. After the Arsenal game last week, Sanchez must regret p**sing on that ancient Indian burial ground.

Sunderland
Temporarily losing a centre back to a head injury is always a difficult time. Replace him, or hope your team holds out till he comes back on? A dilemma. But when your full-back filling in at centre half gives away a penalty a minute later, there's only one decision - get a proper replacement on. When that replacement soon concedes a penalty himself, however, it's time to pack it all in and head home with your tail between your legs. Especially when you've only been playing Wigan, hardly the Real Madrid of the Premier League.

Jens Lehmann
How not to answer your critics.

The B***ard in the Black (or green, yellow, or whatever the f**k they wear)
The controversial penalties at St Andrews and Anfield have put referees firmly back in the spotlight, a hell of a lot earlier than they'd have hoped. There was also the disallowed goal at Fulham, and already video technology is being mooted again as a way to save us from their bumbling lunacy. Not how you'd want to start a season really.

My Fantasy League Team (again)
Ronaldo's red card and suspension, Bojinov injured after finally starting a game, that t**t Zamora getting a game ahead of Ashton, Arteta's form evaporating when I sign him...I really have had the Manchester United of Fantasy League starts. I'll have to give myself a vote of confidence soon. I'd like to apologise to the fans, the performance this week just wasn't good enough.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Poor Start Due to Poor Summer?


Only 2 games into the new season (not even that for some) and it’s already becoming apparent which clubs have – and have not – spent well this summer. Of course, it’s far too early to talk about individual players, plenty will take time to settle in. I’m talking instead about the areas of the squad that clubs have invested in, and whilst again it’s probably too early to make definitive judgements, three or four trends are fast becoming clear.

With two points and no points respectively from fairly generous-looking starts, Manchester United and Tottenham have done nothing to answer critics of their summer transfer policies. One goal in two games is a huge contrast from the way the Champions opened their campaign last season, and questions are already being asked about the way United did business in the summer.

Quite clearly, they were always going to be seen as the team to beat this year. With the exception of the big four, every opponent the Red Devils face this season will be tough to break down, getting men behind the ball in an attempt to shackle Ferguson’s men. In this sense - on the surface of things – the signings of creative geniuses and hot young prospects Tevez, Nani and Anderson look like just what United will need to prevent a season of frustration. But this is overlooking one major factor – Manchester United have only one striker in their whole squad, and he goes by the name of Louis “Darren Anderton” Saha.

In playing Wayne Rooney on his own up front for large parts of last season, United quite regularly seemed short of penetration in the final third. Only the pace, trickery, form and genius of Cristiano Ronaldo saved their bacon in several tight encounters last season. Games against Fulham and Reading immediately leap to mind, but bearing in mind Ronaldo bagged over 20 goals, I’d be prepared to bet there are others if I could be arsed to check. The point is, Rooney isn’t a striker, he’s far more comfortable in a withdrawn Dennis Bergkamp-type role – and he’s certainly not a LONE striker.

With his injury, public attention has fast turned to the fact that Carlos Tevez – undoubted class act – is even LESS of a lone striker than Rooney ever will be, lacking the power of the scouse boxing aficionado. For an example of this, imagine Tevez, back to goal, trying to hold the ball up whilst enjoying the attentions of Ryan Nelsen and Chris Samba. Ouch.

If you’ve got a pair of physical centre halves, who’ll not let Tevez get the ball into feet and turn to face goal, you really only have Ronaldo to fear. Shackle him with a man-marking game and a few hefty challenges early on, and hey presto you’ve got a blueprint for negating United. Until Saha is fit and firing, questions over why Ferguson didn’t go and buy a target man this summer will persist. Because I’ll keep asking them.

As for Tottenham, well that’s even worse. Words have been banded about in the papers this week like “gutless”, “shambles”, “disgrace”, and “abysmal”, but I wouldn’t necessarily use any of them to describe Tottenham’s start. I’d say something along the lines of absolutely mind numbingly f**king stupid.

Because that’s what you’d have to be not to realise where Tottenham needed strengthening this summer, and it most certainly wasn’t up front. Granted, they probably needed a centre back, and Younes Kaboul looks a good bet. But Christ almighty, who spends £17m on Darren Bent when they don’t have a midfield?

Where is Spurs’ creativity? Where? I look at their squad and I absolutely despair, when I see the wealth of striking talent at their disposal paired with the gaping hole that is their midfield. Teemo Tainio, Danny Murphy, Didier Zokora, Aaron “what’s an end product?” Lennon, Steed “out of position” Malbranque, Kevin “no-one’s heard of me” Boateng…the list of s**t goes on.

The undisputed king of Spurs midfield mediocrity though, manages to get a place in virtually every England squad. He can’t cross, can’t pass forwards, can’t tackle, isn’t strong, has poor touch, and is nothing special in the air. But he cost £8m, and Steve McClaren loves him. Step forward Jermaine Jenas.

Labelled a “box to box midfielder”, this is purely down to the fact that no-one can work out what he does, rather than being a testament to his industry and versatility. He’s nobody’s idea of a defensive midfielder, and heaven help you if you think he’s a creative player, but he’s a mainstay of midfield in a team that thinks it’s going to be top four this season!? Lampard and Essien, Scholes and Hargreaves, Gerrard and Alonso, Fabregas and Gilberto…Jenas and Zokora. That’s the only time you’ll see the Spurs engine room mentioned in the same breath as those others - without the accompanying words “vastly inferior” - all season. And rightly so.
y
Like United, Spurs have bought quality players this season. Really class acts, from what I can tell. But when those great players don't actually HELP the team (and the lack of others in a certain position actually hinder it), then aren't these great managers just playing a glorified game of fantasy football? It raises the question of whether all the money in the game is clouding the judgement of those in charge of our clubs. "Ooh, I've got £30m, I'll get TEVEZ! F**k off Quieroz, who cares if he's not what we need? He's CARLOS TEVEZ!" Real Madrid will tell you how that works out. And to a lesser extent, so will Freddy Shepherd. (Patrick Kluivert, anyone?)
y
The lesson for us all here is not to get carried away by pre-season hype. Granted, we shouldn’t get carried away now either – we all know Man Utd will challenge, and Spurs will be ok too, if Jenas gets crocked. But the arrivals of the kids from Portugal, the Tevez affair, and the fact that Darren Bent cost more than Thierry Henry had pundits salivating at the idea of both these sides letting loose their goal glut on the nation. There wasn’t one journalist however, who actually sat back, looked at things, and said “but who’s going to hold the ball up for Man U, don’t they need someone to lead the line?” or “Spurs have four great strikers – but with that midfield, will they ever get the ball?”
y
Don’t be distracted by the names in the headlines folks – it’s the qualities of the players that count, and how well they compliment or add to their new squads, not just their reputations. The likes of Healy, Chopra and Sibierski have made flying starts, despite the media telling us how s**t they are. Well I don't know about you, but I'd rather be a Fulham fan than a Spurs one today, and I know which team's boss is safer. Buying what you need is better than buying the latest "big thing".

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Goals Galore?


A cursory glance at the major signings in the Premiership so far shows exactly where the managers believe this season’s games will be won and lost – up front. Strikers have been bought and sold like nobody’s business - and I’m not just talking about the top 4 either. For all they’ve brought in Tevez, Torres, Pizarro and Eduardo, the rest of the league has followed suit, albeit in more humble financial deals. The list of strikers to have moved clubs this summer is quite staggering, ranging from the incomprehensible (Aliadiere to Middlesbrough, anyone??) to the predictable - if pricey (Bent to Spurs, Nugent to Portsmouth).

Even Newcastle – desperate for a defence – have added Mark Viduka and Alan Smith to a forward line already boasting Michael Owen, Obafemi Martins and fit-again Shola Ameobi. Sunderland spent big on Chopra, Portsmouth brought in Utaka and Nugent, and are still being linked with a move for either Yakubu or Kanoute. Fulham may have built a new squad virtually, but for all the money they spent on their defence, they spent almost as much again on Diomansy Kamara. Not to mention bringing in David Healy alongside him, not that bringing in a player from Leeds costs much these days. But money spent isn’t my point – the values involved don’t interest me, it’s the trend towards strikers.

Manchester City have a new strikeforce, as do West Ham, Middlesbrough, and even Aston Villa when you consider Marlon Harewood has been added to January recruits Young and Carew - that’s 3 players who weren’t there this time last season. I’ve sat and watched these developments with interest all summer, and I think we’re set for exciting changes this season.

In recent years, the likes of Steven Gerrard, Cristiano Ronaldo, and the latest bloke to deflect a Frank Lampard effort have dominated the goal scoring charts. This is especially true since the departure of Van Nistelrooy, who when he left Man U, was clearly the best striker in the country. That left Henry, who got crocked, and so Drogba was the only actual striker to outscore the big 3’s main midfield men. When the likes of Villa, Man City, Newcastle and Bolton haven’t got a striker between them who can outscore a Chelsea midfielder, what chance do they really have of pushing them hard for their Champions League place? Or of actually giving them a decent game twice a season instead of just being swept aside week-in, week-out? Virtually none.

Undoubtedly, it was Blackburn who made the signing of the season last summer, with the capture of Benni McCarthy. The other candidates must surely be Dimitar Berbatov and Carlos Tevez, which perfectly demonstrates the point I want to make. One or two individual managers saw as early as last season that the Premier League was a league without strikers. With Van Nistelrooy gone, all it took was for Henry to get injured and Shevchenko to be crap, and Drogba had the goalscoring charts to himself. Little wonder then, that Blackburn were many people’s surprise team of the season, that Berbatov found himself linked to Man U (as Van Nistelrooy’s potential replacement) and that Tevez finished up there, after saving West Ham single handedly.

Those managers who bought strikers last season were by and large rewarded, with other, less spectacular (but still notable) contributions from the likes of Johnson and Martins. The majority of strikers bought last summer – excluding the “best of them all” Shevchenko – made major contributions to their clubs. But mostly, these clubs were the same old suspects. Spurs, Everton, Newcastle…the bigger clubs in the league who tend to have goalscorers envied by others. Blackburn were unique in that they tried to break into that group by bringing in a man who could win games on his own. They tested the theory that good, organised teamwork will only get you so far without a class act to put the ball in the net. McCarthy worked his magic and saved Blackburn’s season, whilst the likes of Man City, Fulham, Sheffield United, Watford, Middlesbrough, Portsmouth etc could only watch on and wish they’d thought of following suit.

Well this season they bloody well have done. The promoted teams have all splashed out on potential goalscorers, as have teams like Middlesbrough and Fulham that many tip for the drop. Taking the McCarthy-Blackburn example (and I know not all of them will reach that goal tally, but still…) if even half of these new strikers perform to his standards then how many of their clubs will be surprising us on a weekly basis? With the exception of Derby, I don’t see a side in the Premiership without a potential match winner in their squad, many of them brought in this summer.

Surely then, the age of a striker-less Premier League is dead. The age of Lampard, Gerrard and Ronaldo battling with a solitary striker at the top of the goalscoring charts is dead. The age of Portsmouth – Man City being a crappy 0-0 draw that you wouldn’t watch if it was being played in your garden is well and truly dead.

Long live the age of strikers, and the age of goals – we could be in for a cracker of a season.


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And You Thought West Ham Was Dodgy...


Liverpool's opponents in the Champions League qualifier, FC Toulouse, are appearing in this season's competition following a controversy that makes the Tevez-Mascherano affair look clear cut and tame. I wouldn't have thought such a thing possible, until I read the whole sordid tale.


It's the penultimate game of the season, and Toulouse, in 5th, are away to Nantes, who need a win to stay up. It's 0-0 in the 87th minute, and frankly, Nantes are s**t. As you can imagine, the home fans aren't happy bunnies, this was a side in Europe themselves not so long ago. Cue an angry French pitch invasion by the soon to be relegated Nantes fans, forcing the game to be abandoned with 3 or 4 minutes to go. Presumably this was some sort of organised protest, so comprehensive was the invasion, although it could just have easily been a mass attempt to attack their "heroes".


To be fair to Toulouse, they were totally blameless in the situation, their fans weren't involved, and the players left the pitch. However, this is where the sanity ends.


The French FA, in debating what should happen to the remainder of the match, decide not to replay those last few minutes. That's fair enough, there doesn't seem much point in getting everyone together again in Nantes for a 3 minute kickabout. Bizzarely though, they award 3 points to Toulouse. I repeat - the game was 0-0 at the time. Nantes are down, and Toulouse are awarded a 1-0 win. An own goal by the Nantes "12th man" no doubt.


Following the final game of the season, Toulouse finished in a Champions League spot, with 58 points. Rennes, Lens, Bordeaux, and Sochaux all finished on 57. Those extra 2 points, given for a goal they didn't score, got Toulouse not only a European spot, but a Champions League one. Had the invasion not happened, they wouldn't even be in the UEFA Cup.


Can you imagine for just a minute how you'd feel if you were a Rennes, or a Bordeaux fan? Sheffield United would have sued everybody in the Nantes end, presumably. The lesson to learn from this is twofold: Liverpool should qualify with ease (and have no excuse not to), and for all the Premier League appeared like total jackasses over the whole West Ham/MSI affair, it could be a hell of a lot worse.


At least we're not French.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Premier League Week One - Winners and Losers

Winners:


Sund(I)erland

A great result for the newly-promoted Wearsiders. No-one gave them a chance of beating "top four material" Spurs, but despite squandering more than one good chance, the Black Cats came out on top thanks to Michael Chopra's late winner. Paul McShane also put in a noteworthy performance, keeping Dimitar "Pele" Berbatov firmly in his back pocket. A hugely encouraging start.

Manchester City

Another hugely encouraging start. Elano looks a class act, and Bianchi will clearly get goals. He might have made us want to tear our eyes out whilst in charge of England, but Svennis seems to have City playing some good football. A good result against a much-fancied West Ham side.
y
Liverpool

I could easily change this section to read "Jamie Carragher", who must have been the most relieved man in Villa Park after Stevie G baled the Reds out of the hole Carra's rash handball had landed them in. But an aggressive, determined performance meant Liverpool were good value for their win, so I'll include the whole side here.

Blackburn

You're one-nil down, and now Benni McCarthy's f**ked. Let's be honest, if any of us were Sparky, we'd have been chuffed with a draw. But their strength in depth up front shone through, as Derbyshire, and little-fancied debutant Santa Cruz handed them an away win. Santa Cruz might be this year's McCarthy, Premier League sides may learn to write him off at their peril.
y
Newcastle

Another section in which I could be writing about one man - Sam Allardyce must have felt like Christmas had come early when Newcastle went 3-0 up inside half an hour. I was convinced teletext was broken. Turns out it was true, and the Geordies find themselves top of the table. I wouldn't bet on them to win it though.

Birmingham

If they'd gone down 3-0 they'd have been pleased not to have disgraced themselves. So to twice bloody Chelsea's nose and nearly give Mourinho a heart attack, they'll be encouraged by their performance. A game they never in their wildest dreams expected to get anything from, even their defeat will have raised expectations, coming in the manner that it did. A good showing against many people's title favourites.

Arsenal

Hleb scored a goal, and Arsenal didn't drop points after managing to miss hundreds of chances. I make that a 100% improvement on last season.

Chelsea

An entirely expected victory, and one that they nearly f**ked up. But they set a new record for home games without defeat, so I'll tip my cap to them here.


Losers

Tottenham
Oh dear. One defeat does not a season make, so we shouldn't write them off yet, but they must be pretty embarrassed after crowing about top four all summer. Quite frankly, they were s**te.

Tal Ben-Haim

He didn't have a particularly bad game, in my opinion. But he's the man charged with making sure Chelsea don't suffer last season's problems in the absence of John Terry. And on day one, he failed spectacularly to do this. Conceding two at home to Birmingham would be forgiveable in Terry's absence...were it not for the fact that since January Mourinho has been telling us signing Ben Haim would plug the gap.

Bolton

A horrible start for Sammy Lee. Phil Gartside is another who must be embarrassed today, after spending the whole summer telling us how crap Sam Allardyce is, and how Lee is the real architect of their success. Not on that showing Phil.

Manchester United

...and "limpy" Shrek Rooney. Failure to overcome a 10 man Reading team at home will serve as a forewarning of what awaits them this season - teams are scared of them, and this means breaking them down will not be an easy task. Tevez will help, but they'll miss the Scouse Scally and will hope not to repeat this weekend's misdemeanour for a while, as Liverpool have demonstrated the penalties for starting slowly.

Fulham

So near and yet so far. They had their chances to wrap this one up too, and so unlike Birmingham, will probably go away gutted rather than encouraged. Showed enough to suggest they'll be ok this season though, unlike...

Middlesbrough

Losing at home after being one-nil up to a McCarthy-less Blackburn is not a good start. Selling Yakubu over the next two weeks will make it a disastrous one. They need to hang on to him tight, or it'll be a long hard season at the Riverside.

Portsmouth

Time will tell how respectable a point at Derby really is, but at the moment it looks like two points dropped for Harry's boys.

West Ham

Everyone's favourite collection of the biggest tossers in the game looked poor on Saturday, Curbishley's expensively assembled side need to recover and deliver quickly. Looked devoid of ideas now they're Tevez-less. The true extent to which they'd grown to rely on him was painfully evident, although perhaps it'll just take the new boys some time to settle.

My Fantasy League Team

Ashton and Bojinov starting on the bench, McCarthy getting injured just before the 2 appearance points cutoff time, and Ronaldo doing f**k all. Thanks lads.