Crazy Start to the Silly Season
A Few Premiership Managers Keep Their Jobs
The Late Flag was going to bring you a piece on which manager was likely to get the boot first, either this summer or next season, until Paul Jewell took matters into his own hands and quit whilst we were too busy working to write about it, the selfish b*****d. But that seemed ok, because it threw up even more questions – who’d get the Wigan job? And how would they get rid of Heskey?
Within about 5 minutes though, the job went to Chris Hutchings, a man remarkable only for the fact that no-one had heard of him before he got the Bradford job, and 12 games later never heard of him again. Since he was Jewell’s assistant at Wigan for years (apparently), we’re also fairly sure he quite rates Heskey, so both sides of the Wigan story dried up far too quickly for our liking.
Then Man City came along, and everything went crazy. Stuart u-21 'manager' Pearce was sacked just hours after Jewell’s departure from Wigan, certainly convincing me (if no-one else) that the rather lardy scouser was moving to Manchester. So I got ready to write an article on that, taking an overview of Jewell's time in charge of Wigan, and trying to examine whether his methods could transform Man City into a UEFA Cup team…then Dave Whelan announced to the world that Jewell wanted a break from football. The selfish b*****d. In fact, having inspired – and then aborted – 2 potentially Pulitzer-winning articles, Paul Jewell was my least favourite man of yesterday, going right in ahead of that tw*t on the bus with his mobile on speakerphone.
But this morning’s papers brightened me right up. Literally everyone in the world has been linked to the Man City job today, from Louis Van Gaal and Claudio Ranieri to Paul Simpson and Tony Blair. Only one of those is made up.
Apparently the calibre of appointee will depend on the success of a takeover bid by human rights violator and generally corrupt tosser, ex-Thai PM Thaksin Shinawatra. If he gets in, expect his blood-money to entice a big-name European coach. If not, expect a bloody good laugh as the likes of Simpson, Hoddle, Reid, Royle, O’Leary, Coleman and Souness scrap it out to get Man City relegated. Yesterday’s management news was anything but dull, and the summertime goings-on at Eastlands are all set to be every bit as entertaining, one way or another.
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Fat Sam Joins Fat Fred at St James'
I really don't want to go too far here, for fear of invoking the wrath of my co-contributor. But I can't believe this man gets a job at Newcastle. He's never been in charge of any money! Ok, so he signed Anelka for £9m, but Souness had made a couple of reasonably big-money signings at Blackburn, and still wasted £18m on Luque and Boumsong as soon as he had The Big Fat Cheque Book from St James'. This should surely be a job given to someone who's shown he won't pour good money after bad, and will resist the urge to spend for spending's sake. Van Gaal would have been perfect.
I'm predicting a troubled time for Allardyce and the Toon, the man himself has spoken of the need for time to implement his regime, and that's a commodity woefully lacking on Tyneside. Patience is not a virtue that is prevalent with the Toon faithful - scrappy football and mixed results will see pressure coming his way sooner rather than later. Allardyce never had pressure at Bolton, and his continued ability to finish a promising season woefully - Bolton have won just twice in 2007 and had to battle for a UEFA Cup spot they were nailed-on for at Christmas - may well disappoint the Geordie faithful. Quite possibly resulting in a sacking of the ex-Sunderland captain in around 2 years time.
And were this to be the case, surely it would be a failure too far for the already under-pressure chairman. Quite simply, Shepherd lives or dies by this appointment.
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Transfer Latest
Unbelievably, it seems Steve Sidwell is ACTUALLY going to Chelsea, despite The Late Flag having been convinced this was some sort of elaborate wind-up. He'll most likely be used as a deputy to the likes of Mikel and Essien during the African Cup of Nations, which just means another good English prospect will be warming the Chelsea bench for 80% of the season.
Liverpool have confirmed the signing of Brazilian under-20 midfielder Lucas Leiva from Gremio for £8m. A primarily defensive midfielder with a surprising eye for goal, he has been tipped by Rafa Benitez to make a big impact after settling on Merseyside. Having been told similar things about Bruno Cheyrou and Antonio Nunez in the past, this correspondent remains slightly sceptical, although this lad did win the "golden shoe" last year, awarded to the best young player in Brazil. So keep an eye out for him once he's grown used to the pace of the English game.
Mark Viduka is still refusing to reveal where he'll be playing next season, although the smart money is apparently on Portsmouth. His reaction to the Middlesbrough 'crowd' on Sunday seemed to say "see you later losers" despite Gareth Southgate being prepared to suck, if it'll keep him on Teeside. So I heard.
Another "contract-rebel" ("Give me another £10,000 a week or I'm f**king off", contract-tw*t would be more appropriate) is Man City's Sylvain Distin. Believed to be a target for Aston Villa, Distin has clearly gotten sick of playing for City Nil, and has refused all efforts to keep him at the club. We probably would too, if we had to train with Joey Barton.
And the main man in demand following the relegation issues being decided is Charlton's Darren Bent. Villa, Liverpool, Spurs, Everton and West Ham are all believed to be interested - but he's likely to cost in the region of £12m. That should put off everybody except West Ham and Spurs, and even then he's only likely to be wearing white next season if Berbatov f**ks off to Man U. Bent to West Ham for my money, although if I were Charlton I'd certainly be trying to pass off Marcus as Darren.
The Late Flag was going to bring you a piece on which manager was likely to get the boot first, either this summer or next season, until Paul Jewell took matters into his own hands and quit whilst we were too busy working to write about it, the selfish b*****d. But that seemed ok, because it threw up even more questions – who’d get the Wigan job? And how would they get rid of Heskey?
Within about 5 minutes though, the job went to Chris Hutchings, a man remarkable only for the fact that no-one had heard of him before he got the Bradford job, and 12 games later never heard of him again. Since he was Jewell’s assistant at Wigan for years (apparently), we’re also fairly sure he quite rates Heskey, so both sides of the Wigan story dried up far too quickly for our liking.
Then Man City came along, and everything went crazy. Stuart u-21 'manager' Pearce was sacked just hours after Jewell’s departure from Wigan, certainly convincing me (if no-one else) that the rather lardy scouser was moving to Manchester. So I got ready to write an article on that, taking an overview of Jewell's time in charge of Wigan, and trying to examine whether his methods could transform Man City into a UEFA Cup team…then Dave Whelan announced to the world that Jewell wanted a break from football. The selfish b*****d. In fact, having inspired – and then aborted – 2 potentially Pulitzer-winning articles, Paul Jewell was my least favourite man of yesterday, going right in ahead of that tw*t on the bus with his mobile on speakerphone.
But this morning’s papers brightened me right up. Literally everyone in the world has been linked to the Man City job today, from Louis Van Gaal and Claudio Ranieri to Paul Simpson and Tony Blair. Only one of those is made up.
Apparently the calibre of appointee will depend on the success of a takeover bid by human rights violator and generally corrupt tosser, ex-Thai PM Thaksin Shinawatra. If he gets in, expect his blood-money to entice a big-name European coach. If not, expect a bloody good laugh as the likes of Simpson, Hoddle, Reid, Royle, O’Leary, Coleman and Souness scrap it out to get Man City relegated. Yesterday’s management news was anything but dull, and the summertime goings-on at Eastlands are all set to be every bit as entertaining, one way or another.
*****************************************************************************************
Fat Sam Joins Fat Fred at St James'
I really don't want to go too far here, for fear of invoking the wrath of my co-contributor. But I can't believe this man gets a job at Newcastle. He's never been in charge of any money! Ok, so he signed Anelka for £9m, but Souness had made a couple of reasonably big-money signings at Blackburn, and still wasted £18m on Luque and Boumsong as soon as he had The Big Fat Cheque Book from St James'. This should surely be a job given to someone who's shown he won't pour good money after bad, and will resist the urge to spend for spending's sake. Van Gaal would have been perfect.
I'm predicting a troubled time for Allardyce and the Toon, the man himself has spoken of the need for time to implement his regime, and that's a commodity woefully lacking on Tyneside. Patience is not a virtue that is prevalent with the Toon faithful - scrappy football and mixed results will see pressure coming his way sooner rather than later. Allardyce never had pressure at Bolton, and his continued ability to finish a promising season woefully - Bolton have won just twice in 2007 and had to battle for a UEFA Cup spot they were nailed-on for at Christmas - may well disappoint the Geordie faithful. Quite possibly resulting in a sacking of the ex-Sunderland captain in around 2 years time.
And were this to be the case, surely it would be a failure too far for the already under-pressure chairman. Quite simply, Shepherd lives or dies by this appointment.
********************************************************************************************
Transfer Latest
Unbelievably, it seems Steve Sidwell is ACTUALLY going to Chelsea, despite The Late Flag having been convinced this was some sort of elaborate wind-up. He'll most likely be used as a deputy to the likes of Mikel and Essien during the African Cup of Nations, which just means another good English prospect will be warming the Chelsea bench for 80% of the season.
Liverpool have confirmed the signing of Brazilian under-20 midfielder Lucas Leiva from Gremio for £8m. A primarily defensive midfielder with a surprising eye for goal, he has been tipped by Rafa Benitez to make a big impact after settling on Merseyside. Having been told similar things about Bruno Cheyrou and Antonio Nunez in the past, this correspondent remains slightly sceptical, although this lad did win the "golden shoe" last year, awarded to the best young player in Brazil. So keep an eye out for him once he's grown used to the pace of the English game.
Mark Viduka is still refusing to reveal where he'll be playing next season, although the smart money is apparently on Portsmouth. His reaction to the Middlesbrough 'crowd' on Sunday seemed to say "see you later losers" despite Gareth Southgate being prepared to suck, if it'll keep him on Teeside. So I heard.
Another "contract-rebel" ("Give me another £10,000 a week or I'm f**king off", contract-tw*t would be more appropriate) is Man City's Sylvain Distin. Believed to be a target for Aston Villa, Distin has clearly gotten sick of playing for City Nil, and has refused all efforts to keep him at the club. We probably would too, if we had to train with Joey Barton.
And the main man in demand following the relegation issues being decided is Charlton's Darren Bent. Villa, Liverpool, Spurs, Everton and West Ham are all believed to be interested - but he's likely to cost in the region of £12m. That should put off everybody except West Ham and Spurs, and even then he's only likely to be wearing white next season if Berbatov f**ks off to Man U. Bent to West Ham for my money, although if I were Charlton I'd certainly be trying to pass off Marcus as Darren.
3 comments:
well rich u do have a point in the allardyce story thats why so many have opposed it but now he is the manager the nufc fans have to keep their gobs shut and go along with it and support the manager....until like me they come on here or football365 and slate him! he does need time but newcastle dont have it simply put. and in regards to if freddie lives or dies by this appointment i doubt it(i wish though) but even if sam f*cks up then he will still be there as no one will buy the "cursed" club off him.
The wigan story is crazy cant believe they will give an unknown managr who relegated bradford 20 million to spend this summer...is dave whelan gone senile???
and i hear glenn roeder has also been linked wih city haha god help them souness and gullit will be next oh wait gullit was in a sky sports news poll but he didnt get very high in the popularity stakes.
also fa cup final week- man utds all the way i reckon and my play off final is still on derby and west brom unless wolves do a good comeback.
champs league next week going to be tough- not going to predict it til closer to the time! doug
The FA Cup Final is my writing material for Friday - keep your eyes out for that, I'll be doing quite a large feature and I'm pretty sure Mr Drew will have something to say on it too.
Well pleased for Derby last night, my Derby, Blackpool, Wimbledon prediction is still on. Cracking game that one as well, how gutted must Southampton be? Fair play to them as well, they gave a good account of themselves last night.
Where Wigan say they have £20m to spend, that'll be 20 £1m players. No-one else would want to sign for them as far as I can see, so expect another bunch of 3rd rate Scandanavians and Austrians arriving in Wigan this summer. And then watch them struggle to get a point next season.
Does allardyce think he can keep owen at the toon? i think his reign will be dependant on how good he initially starts. I'll be interested on how he manages without his bum boy davies to kick long balls up to.. expect him in a newcastle shirt sooner rather than later. I hear Haim may already be on the way. Big sam has at least scrapped the shoddy defence, which scores him points in my book.
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